The Beta-Friend Blog

Sad but true ... Another hiatus

2010-09-21T23:44:00.000-04:00

Three weeks into the semester and I am already feeling a lot of pressure. I really am sorry to say that I will be neglecting the updates for a while. I had a chat with a roommate tonight about how this just isn't fun anymore - it feels like work on top of school work and actual work. I started this as a creative outlet to keep writing during my internship, when I had more time to put serious thought and analysis into each post. Now, I feel too rushed. I can't put the kind of care and editing into it that would make this blog worth reading. I want it to be something I can be proud of and tell people to read, but I've been too distracted, and my latest posts just aren't up to my standards. I am working much harder this semester to keep up with my priorities (reading, studying, applying to grad school, studying for the GRE) and so something had to drop off my to-do list.

I may still do the odd post on holidays, but I won't make any more promises about when I am posting. Now everybody send me happy thoughts that I can manage a 4.0 this semester without going batty!

Juno - Leah

2010-09-14T18:13:00.001-04:00

Diablo Cody's breakout screenplay, Juno, about twee teen pregnancy starring Ellen Page is a refreshingly non-judgmental and non-preachy movie about growing up and making mistakes. While some reviewers found the language precious and the pop culture references tedious and verging on obnoxious, but being of the Gilmore Girls generation when it was released, I appreciate the quick, witty banter. There are a lot of interesting relationships in this movie: Juno and Paulie Bleeker (Michael Cera), Juno and her dad and step-mom (J.K. Simmons and Allison Janney), Juno and the adoptive parents (Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner), and last and pretty much least, Juno and Leah (Olivia Thirlby). From Tic-Tac fueled fornication to tearful post-push snuggle, Juno and Bleeker seem to share a very innocent and naive love, and I like that they seem able to move on with their youth relatively unscathed after the trauma of pregnancy and birth.

I'm not sure what the attraction is between Juno and Leah, but seeing as Leah is the first person Juno calls with news of the pregnancy, there must be some history of friendship between them. Leah's a cheerleader in lust with a math teacher, while Juno's a guitar playing, artsy, alterna-chick. They're equally sarcastic and do have a fun rapport, they just don't seem to have much in common. Leah is Juno's partner in crime on occasion, helping her stage romantic gestures. She is also a pretty strong pillar of support, advising Juno on finding adoptive parents and acting as back-up when breaking the news to Juno's parents. Leah goes with Juno to her ultrasound appointments and is there to coach her through labor. This isn't something just any 16 or 17 year old would do for a friend, especially when you look at MTV's 16 and Pregnant. She may not have a lot of speeches, but Leah is good supporting character. She's got an interesting perspective and never abandons Juno because of her condition.

Stats
Screen time: 16 minutes and 30 seconds
Memorable quotes: "Honest to blog?" "Phuket, Thailand!" "You know heavy lifting can only help you at this point." "So what was it like, humping Bleek's bony bod?" "Desperately Seeking Spawn... It's totally legit" "Hey, you know you can go into early labor sucking face like that!"

The Beta-Friend Blog is moving to Tuesdays!

2010-09-12T19:25:00.000-04:00

I'm back in classes and this semester is going to be very homework heavy on the weekends. So, I am moving my blog posts to Tuesdays. After all, I am a student first, and the role of blogger comes somewhere around third or forth on my resume..

The Princess Diaries - Lilly Moscovitz

2010-09-06T23:59:00.006-04:00

Thanks to the holiday weekend, I'm posting a little late, however, let's just say today is Sunday...

The Princess Diaries is the story of Mia Thermopolis, a painfully shy and awkward 15-year-old who discovers she is heir to the Genovian throne. Anne Hathaway stars, with Julie Andrews. After discovering the truth of her heritage, Mia undergoes a makeover to look "like a princess" - all it takes are contacts and newly tamed tresses to transform her into teen royalty, and remove her cloak of uncool invisibility. Revealing this new look to her best friend Lilly Moscovitz (Heather Matarazzo) results in shock and awe, and not the good kind. As supportive as Lilly is up to this point, she is threatened by her friends' transformation. Lilly attacks Mia, accusing her of joining the conformist ranks of Lana (Mandy Moore) and her cronies. Naturally, the secret gets out and Mia is on the receiving end of some suspect attention from the popular kids which results in some negative press and a terrible first kiss. Mia misses an appearance on Lilly's local cable show, and when reprimanded by her grandmother, the Queen of Genovia, she decides not to accept her title. And then she changes her mind, and shows up at the ball looking like a wet rat and manages not to throw up when she gives her speech.

Lilly Moscovitz is a high strung activist type with high disdain for the popular kids and status symbols like fancy handbags and expensive hair styles. She and Mia are two peas in a pod because they don't fit in with the Suzy-high-schools or jocks or preppy kids. Lilly is the product of two psychologists, which I'm not sure is something addressed in the movie, but it is in the books, and she admits to needing an attitude adjustment. So while she feels that their friendship is threatened by the interests of others who would like to exploit Mia's new notoriety, Lilly stands by her friend and believes in her ability to lead and make a difference in the world. Lilly envies this, but is not worried about Mia doing the wrong thing in the position of princess. In fact, when Lilly realizes why the makeover happened, she is thrilled. She calls Mia's being a princess a miracle, because so often the spoiled, wealthy and privileged hold all the power and esteem. Lilly's personality is rather overpowering, until Mia grows a backbone. Their friendship does feel genuine, perhaps because they are teenagers, where as a similar friendship for women in their 20's or 30's might not seem as deep. Lilly and Mia relate to one another like childhood friends. Their fights blow over quickly and they have a great natural rapport.

Stats
Screen time: 9 minutes
Memorable quotes: "You know, we could hock that and feed a whole third world country!" "The student body may be morally bankrupt, but that doesn't mean they're blind!" "Hi, nice to meet you. Did you know you look like Shaft?" "Are you really sure you can run a country? I mean you can barely keep a goldfish alive for more than a couple of days." "Voltaire, hair. I, personally, would like to learn about Voltaire." "Do you know how hard it is to have a cable show and keep a secret!?" "The green monster of jealousy came out because you were Miss Popular and I thought I was losing my best friend so I got angry and upset and hurt." "I just found out that my cable show only reaches 12 people."

Confessions of Shopaholic - Suze

2010-08-15T21:58:00.004-04:00

I'm back from the Balkans and ready to blog again! This week's movie is Confessions of a Shopaholic, based on the novel by Sophie Kinsella. It's pretty typical chick-lit, making a predictable chick flick. Our leading actress, Isla Fisher, is a great physical actress - while some of the gags are just obnoxious, many are rather endearing, and a good distraction from the shallow, materialistic, addictive behavior of Rebecca Bloomwood. Her lack of professionalism, from lying in her interview to blowing off work for a sample sale, is truly atrocious, and seriously unrealistic. What's more, she gets a boyfriend out of all this nonsense - it wouldn't be a chick flick without some sort of romance story arc. Rebecca does encounter some inner conflicts surrounding her compulsive shopping and the problems that causes outside of her credit card debt, and eventually overcomes that addiction, repairing her friendship with Suze and getting an offer from Alette, the fashion magazine she initially wanted to write for. The release of this movie was untimely, in the midst of the financial crisis. And while there are some relevant lessons on personal finance, the way Rebecca and the other characters consume luxury goods would have been much more appropriate and almost prescient if it had been released sooner.

The beta friend in this movie is Suze. Played by Krysten Ritter, Suze is Rebecca's wealthy roommate with a functional relationship and a steady job. She's very enthusiastic and supportive of Rebecca's career aspirations, and encourages her to enroll in 'Shopaholics Anonymous.' She is a privileged New Yorker, living in a comfortable apartment that her parents own. As much as she is concerned for Rebecca's finances, it is not her job to teach her smart spending. Suze becomes engaged and enlists Rebecca as a bridesmaid (maid of honor?). Rebecca hates the dress Suze picks, but buys it anyway, and in an unfortunate series of events loses it, and when she goes to buy it back, along with a dress for an appearance on a television show, she only has enough money for one, and chooses the more attractive tv-ready dress. Suze is there to binge drink with Rebecca and read her writing. They do seem to have a pretty genuine friendship - Suze rips up Rebecca's rent check when she loses her job, and while they have a falling out, it's believable that they can reconcile. They have fun together and talk about more than just men. Rebecca never resents Suze for trying to curtail her spending, and I would be so bold as to say that their friendship is the one non-shallow thing in Rebecca's life. I did read the book before I saw the movie, and I seem to remember their relationship was portrayed rather differently, with Suze more of an enabler for Rebecca's shopping.

Stats
Screen Time: 12 minutes
Memorable Quotes: "Bex, I'll get the tequila, you get the bills." "What do they call it when an animal rights person gets trampled to death by a cow?" "You're opening up his what?" "Bex, have you ever thought of taking your own advice? Like, what would The Girl in the Green Scarf say about hiding Visa bills under your bed." "Hypothetically you're a big fat liar. You're advising people about debt and you're up to your eyeballs in it." "How am I supposed to know her parachute didn't open. She doesn't even exist!" "Imagine you wearing this dress. Walk past a mirror - would you be jealous?"

Ambitious, Yes. Feasible, Maybe Not.

2010-07-04T02:40:00.000-04:00

Alright folks, I'm in Serbia and I just don't think I will have time (or resources) to cover Eclipse until I'm back Sate-side, because internet access is spotty and well, I need to watch it a second time to think about and reflect upon a full analysis. So please forgive me, and hope I don't pass out in this horrendous heat!

Beauty and the Briefcase - Joanne

2010-06-27T21:25:00.000-04:00

This week I am reviewing Beauty and the Briefcase, an ABC Family TV movie starring Hilary Duff. Based on the novel Diary of a Working Girl by Daniella Brodsky, this movie is the very worst kind of chick flick - an unapologetic story of a young woman in search of a man. Our main character is striving for a career at Cosmopolitan, and her best friend and roommate Joanne (Amanda Walsh) is a freelance fashion photographer who gets her in the door at Cosmo. Lane doesn't do well in her pitch meeting, until she starts griping about her state of manlessness (ugh!) to the editor who is also currently single. The two act as though this is the most horrible thing in the world, and this inspires an undercover story for Lane to take on, an unlikely opportunity for an unproven freelance style writer. Her mission: infiltrate the "business world" and date only "men in suits". So, she outright lies on her resume, fakes her way through an interview and sabotages the electrical system in order to get into an investment banking firm.

Feeling like "a kid in a candy store," she finds the firm bursting with all sorts of men and, more importantly, women who "aren't even trying" and goes out on a dozen dates in order to find a man who embodies her checklist - great fashion sense, same taste in food, spontaneous, whisks away to exotic locales on a whim, sexy accent, plays a sexy instrument, fearless in the face of danger, witty statements on the tip of his tongue, public fights and torrid make-up sex, passionate over common sense ... essentially she's looking for the ideal rom-com dream guy. And so she does, but he's not in business. And it all turns out to be a big lie, but Lane herself admits that Liam was just giving her exactly what she wanted. Of course, Lane does get caught out on both ends - her boss at the firm finds her diary-like article drafts, and she ends up writing the truth anyway, which still lands her the job at Cosmo. There is also a serious lack of professionalism throughout the movie - Lane starts out rather poorly in her position as assistant, and when she decides, with prompting from her editor, that her boss Tom (Michael McMillan) is actually her soul mate because he is the exact opposite from what she said she wanted, she interrupts a meeting with a passionate speech and then they kiss in front of everyone, he lifts her up and leaves the meeting. I don't understand why this is such a prevalent theme in rom-coms. I guess it's a climactic cinematic gesture, but really, does this ever happen in real life? Doubtful...

Joanne, the best friend, is pretty typical of this kind of frothy, silly rom-com. She's sassy and supportive. She doesn't seem too interested in finding a man of her own, though she admits to a "thing" with the cashier from the convenience store in their neighborhood. She gets a good amount of screen time, and we actually see her at work doing photo shoots. It's unusual to see a beta at work so often, but there are also several scenes where she is out with Lane, and then of course there is commiseration over ice cream scene. Considering Lane's lack of morality in obtaining a job in business, it's interesting then to see Joanne attempting to talk Lane down from her precarious position she's built up with her lies - partially because she's concerned about maintaining her relationship with Cosmo, but also because she's concerned for her friends' reputation. I think Joanne is supposed to come off as artsy and kooky, wrapping models in plastic wrap and giving ridiculous instructions to her subjects, but this aspect of her personality isn't very well maintained. She's very concerned about the day-to-day. She is on it enough to know that burning bridges with a major magazine would probably destroy her career. But she also seems to have a lack of judgement on the sexual relations front, now refusing to go to the store downstairs on the chance that she could run into a hookup. Don't sleep where you shop? Her character isn't very consistent, but then again, maybe she's supposed to seem dynamic and human, and these inconsistencies are part of being human. Who's to really say? I put the novel on hold at the library, so I will find out more about who Joanne is supposed to be. If there is a Joanne in the novel.

Stats
Screen time: 12 minutes 20 seconds
Memorable quotes: "I told you, you need to use my checklist, way more fun... Item 1: Breathing, always important in a guy, and Items 2 through 7, moot." "This shot, it needs to be sexy but not sexual, and it needs to say I love you but not I'm in love with you, and I want you to be happy, not overjoyed." "So you just replace the shoes and dresses with stocks and companies it's all about predicting trends, what people want to buy." "We were going to get you a gorgeous CEO but most of them are in jail or getting government bailouts." "'Magic Man', she thinks that a guy is going to solve everything." "Now, the way to show off the purse, I want you to clutch it, it's the love of your life." "Nothing like deceiving Cosmo to work up an appetite." "Well, now that you're exaggerating characters and making things up, I want you to name me Lucy. I'm your best friend, and the other hot girl at Thompson Fulworth and I'm using Cosmo's '10 Most Exciting Places to Have Sex in the Work Place' as an extracurricular guide." "Aren't you forgetting your best friend who vouched for you at Cosmo. You can't just declare your article dead." "I told you not to date Liam, I told you not to write lies."

Girls Just Want to Have Fun - Lynne

2010-06-20T22:04:00.002-04:00

This week's analysis is thanks to Newbury Comics, for supplying such a great collection of used DVDs. I'd never seen Girls Just Want to Have Fun until this weekend, and I love it for all it's campy, predictable teen-dance-movie glory. Starring a young Sarah Jessica Parker (Janey) and Helen Hunt (Lynne), this movie very well could have set the stage for many of the teen movies in the 90's. Watching it, I drew parallels to Save the Last Dance, Step Up, Mean Girls, She's All That and Clueless. Here's a brief summary:

Janey has just moved to Chicago, where a popular show called Dance TV is filmed. Janey "loves to dance," as evidenced by her inability to not fidget and demi-plié whenever she's standing. At her newest Catholic school, she meets Lynne, and the two are instant friends. Then they find out about a contest being held to bring two new dancers onto Dance TV. The two try out, despite Janey's being forbidden to do so by her strict Army dad. There, she meets her dance partner for the contest, Jeff, a public school boy who is expected to go to trade school. The two doubt each other but then they fall in love, but then he is threatened by one mean girl's powerful father, and he decides it's not worth competing anymore. They fall out, but then they are brought back together on the night of the final contest, and of course, they win, but not until after a dance-off after a tie score between them and the mean girl. It's all very epic, and the dancing is all very 80's. I kind of wish people still danced like that. It seems so much more fun than the bump and grind seen at high school dances and night clubs all over. Throughout the movie, the song that inspired the movie's title is played to a very nice effect - it gives the movie a bit more levity and giddiness that suits the teenage frame of mind. It also helps to mitigate the effect of the cheesy synth score that swells around the characters at every significant glance or passionate kiss. Speaking of kisses, Janey is the one to initiate the first kiss with Jeff, which is rather cool - she's a shy, inexperienced good girl, and she is the one to take control of the physical relationship. I dig it.

Now for Lynne. She's got a very unique style, and a huge amount of enthusiasm and spunk. Check out the dinosaur hair clips! Those are a little nutty, even for the 80's. Like most besties, she's much more liberated than the leading lady, shamelessly changing on the bus. When it comes to dating, however, it seems like Lynne isn't quite so in control as she tries to come off. "...would I puke if he kissed me." (full quote below) The way she phrases this, putting herself as the object, indicates that she is either all talk (i.e. just as inexperienced as Janey), or that she dismisses her own sexual agency, most likely unconsciously. Lynne is kind of a bad influence on Janey. A lot of best friends in chick flicks are bad influences (see, Janis Ian, Anita). They encourage the leading lady to disobey her parents, sneak out of the house, get laid, or enact revenge on someone (usually another female). In the case of Janey and Lynne, the revenge is actually kind of awesome.

While I doubt that a bunch of punks off the streets of Chicago would actually have any interest in attending a débutante ball, it's pretty awesome they way they trash the party, and they are impressively choreographed. In most chick flicks, the main character is a bit of a stick in the mud, and if not for the best friend, it seems unlikely that any such things would ever happen. Maybe it's a safety in numbers thing, but these ladies are never more bold than when they have a beta egging them on. There is an interesting exchange of power happening... Janey would never disobey her father, even though she is so passionate about dancing, but without Lynne there to shake her head at the goody-two-shoes, Janey would have no drive to prove herself to others. It's fair then to say that Janey never does anything purely for herself. First she is following Lynne's lead to appear more daring and hip; then she continues to defy her father for Jeff. Lynne and other betas, are often used to drive the plot in this way. And if it's not the best friend, then it's the love interest that serves this purpose. Lynne is certainly a bad influence, but still, she's there for Janey, and that's what friendship is all about. In the land of the chick flick, rarely is there any truly irrevocable trouble, and when he sees his daughter dancing and winning the contest, Janey's dad forgives her transgressions, and they all celebrate.

Stats

Screen Time: 15 minutes
Memorable Quotes:
"Velcro. Next to the Walkman and Tab it is the coolest invention of the twentieth century." "My name's Lynne Stone. I'm going to change it as soon as I'm old enough." "You just know I must be horny. I'm going to babysit. You should see me when I go out." "And so I said 'Please, Sister, anyone could have confused Hail Mary with Proud Mary. Besides, I do a very good Tina Turner.'" "He's a guy and he's alive, what's there to hate?" "Whenever I'm in a room with a guy, no matter who it is - a date, my dentist, anybody I think if we were the last two people on earth, would I puke if he kissed me." "She hyperventilated on the uneven parallel bars."

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days - Jeannie and Michelle

2010-06-13T23:52:00.003-04:00

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is the very archetype of a chick flick. Our two unlikely lovers meet, thrown together in unlikely circumstances - they have chemistry, but their conflicting interests threaten to derail both of their careers. Through it all, they reconcile for an implied happily ever after. Our main character Andie (Kate Hudson) is the "how to girl" for Composure magazine. Her love interest is Ben (Matthew McConaughey) "beer and sports guy" at a top ad agency. The two begin dating under equally deceptive circumstances, orchestrated by two ladies with questionable ethics: she is writing an article about the things not to do in a relationship; he has been set up on a bet to make a woman fall in love with him in order to land a large ad account. She drives him batty with clingy, obsessive behavior while he astounds her expectations by sticking with her through the teddy bear invasion, and the nick-naming of his penis, among other things. And while their lies and deceptions set up their courtship for disaster, we all know it will end well for these two pretty people.

In a gesture of desperation, Ben chases Andie's cab on his motorcycle as she is about to leave for an interview in D.C. It doesn't take much for him to convince her not to leave New York, which is rather stupid - it's implied that she blows off the interview in D.C., which is very unprofessional and disappointing. Andie should have gone anyway, and if offered the job, done the work from New York. Even in 2003, journalists were very mobile.

Jeannie and Michelle

Now then, for the friends. If I were so inclined, I could analyze the beta friends for both Andie and Ben, however I left the writing of this blog entry for far too late this evening as it is, so I'll just be doing Andie's friends, although it is certainly worth mentioning Ben's two tag-a-long buddies from the ad agency who almost mimic Andie's friends, as far as being co-workers and encouraging Ben in his deception and luring of Andie. It's interesting to note that neither one of them is ever portrayed as desperate and pathetic as Michelle is...

Jeannie
The first beta friend we meet is Jeannie (Annie Parisse), who sits at the desk next to Andie. It's never clear what her role is at the magazine, but she's a beautiful woman with a quick wit and a serious attachment to martinis. She is seen enthusiastically imbibing on several occasions throughout the film... Jeannie seems to be the happily single member of this trio, and teases Andie with a lot of easy spirit about her. Jeannie also doesn't have much patience for Michelle's romantic woes, and does her best to keep the other two on task at work and while on the hunt for a specimen to experiment on...

Memorable Quotes: "Remember that editor from Sports Illustrated that you have been shamelessly flirting with for a month now?" "Alright, I'll go. But I am not putting out." "Call him in the middle of the night and tell him everything you had to eat that day."
Screen Time: 7 minutes 15 seconds

Michelle
Beta friend number two is a whole other story. Just getting over being dumped after a week-long 'relationship', Michelle (Kathryn Hahn) is the inspiration for the article Andie is conducting her research for. Considering her devastation, Michelle cleans herself up pretty quickly with the help of Andie and Jeannie, and even assists Andie in her rouse by playing a couple's therapist. It almost seems as though the whole experiment is cathartic for her: watching Andie attempt to scare off Ben with the same behavior she engaged in with her latest paramour helps her see the error of her ways. She may be a little nutty, but she learns from her past mistakes, and when Mike turns up at her door, she plays it cool when he wants her back. Michelle starts out as a very dependent character, but in true rom-com form, her story is wrapped up happily, if not a little awkwardly.

Memorable Quotes: "The first time we had sex, it was so beautiful... I cried." "No guy would go running from you Andie. You could barf all over him and he'd say, 'Do it again.'" "Are you dating him or are you contemplating adoption?" "I see, Benjamin... And when was it that you first realized that you were attracted to other men."

Never Been Kissed - Anita

2010-06-06T19:58:00.002-04:00

Never Been Kissed is an adult nerd's fantasy - Josie Geller (Drew Barrymore) is a clever, socially awkward copy editor at a leading newspaper in Chicago. At 25 she is still scarred from the bullying and humiliation she suffered in high school, so when she is assigned to go undercover to get the inside scoop on teenagers, she is thrilled to get a second chance to be one of the cool kids. Naturally, she struggles with this, and with the help of her brother eventually does 'transition' into the popular crowd... (what's up Jessica Alba, James Franco). I'm sure most of you have seen it. Josie finds herself crushing on her English teacher (Michael Vartan) who is drawn to her as well - uh oh! She's supposed to be 17! And here is the main conflict in this cookie-cutter fantasy. It's a coming-of-age story, only she's not a teenager, but still it culminates at prom where Josie is crowned Prom Queen, and everyone learns a valuable lesson about bullying.

And where would we be without our (adult) beta-friend? She's brazen, sassy, horny and a total Jezebel. And her name is Anita (Molly Shannon). From the moment we meet her we know she's the wild friend, as most beta's are - the main character is typically uptight and generally needs to get laid, while our beta friend is sexually liberated and proud of it! Anita wears red lipstick and red clothing. Short skirts, see-through tops over black bras, curve-hugging dresses all mark her as the wild, loose woman who tries to get Josie out of her shell and out on some dates. She is highly suggestive, miming fellatio with a pencil during a staff meeting, (of course, it's never clear what her actual job at the newspaper is...) hitting on Sexy English Teacher and giving a highly candid sex-talk to a bunch of high schoolers. Since it's Molly Shannon, it's a funny role. She's got some great lines, but there isn't much substance to her. It is inferred in the

final scene that her story, in textbook rom-com happily ever after, is now tied up. She has undergone a complete make-under - fresh-faced, wearing a knee-length blue dress showing no cleavage and a shapeless green sweater - all because now she's suddenly decided that her flirtation with Gus, (John C. Reilly) crabby Editor In Chief, is going to be her final conquest. This change from unrestrained nymphomaniac to conservative wife-to-be is not at all in keeping with her character. It's merely a convenient way to show that everyone is happy now, that have found their "penguin." There could be some great psychology in here, but there isn't much to go on with Anita's character. Why did she sleep around? If it wasn't what she really wanted, then sure, her transformation at the end makes sense. But she seemed pretty pleased with her current situation, even if she does regret her first sexual experience.

Stats:
Screen time: 9 minutes
Memorable quotes: "What do you say about sex really. You like a guy... you do it with him... sometimes he calls, sometimes he doesn't." "Oh I know it's hard... I mean difficult... But safe sex is really important. Ok, so just imagine that the bananas are the real thing, in a land called every man's fantasy."

Special mention goes to our teen beta friend, Aldys (Leelee Sobieski) for being super nerdy and generally adorable.

Josie and the Pussycats

2010-05-30T20:14:00.001-04:00

Josie and the Pussycats is a fun, silly satire about teen obsession for bands and a mild criticism of the commercialization of the music industry specifically, the entertainment industry more generally. Steve Madden, Hostess, Puma, Reebok, Rite Aid, Starbucks, Motorola, McDonalds, John Frieda, Bugles, Target, TGI Fridays, Bloomingdales, Adidas, Revlon, TJ Maxx, Evian, Sega... all of these brands and more are visible in the movie. Certainly this is nothing new nor absent 9 years later - in Lady Gaga's video for Telephone, several brands are represented. Of course, with the increased availability of digital music, it's harder for artists and record companies to make a profit, so this promotion is mutually beneficial.

The filmmakers of Josie and the Pussycats, taking a critical look at this commercialization, inserted the brands voluntarily and without compensation, and Lady Gaga apparently did the same in her video. The idea the entertainment industry uses subliminal messages to sell products really doesn't require much of a stretch of the imagination. Today it's nothing so sinister as Mr. Movie Phone reading a back track to pop songs telling listeners that Blue is the new Orange, but product placement is ever more prevalent in the media. iPod ads in Park Street Station, Coca Cola cups before the judges on American Idol, Miracle Whip in a music video - the very amount of saturation is sure to effect attitudes of those most vulnerable to absorbing and internalizing this information - children.

Marketers understand that children have a huge influence over household purchases, so when they see the Idol contestants goofing off in a Ford ad, these message-sensitive viewers are meant to associate the brand with fame and success, concepts which, in the era of YouTube and Hannah Montana are highly desirable. I'm not saying that this is brainwashing the youth of America, because as they grow and mature, we (I still consider myself to be part of the 'youth' demographic) are taught to become critical thinkers and observe this sort of cultural phenomena with a wary eye. TRL had a huge influence on me and my friends up until the time I was 12. By then I began to look beyond MTV for cool new music and such, but it wasn't until high school when I really started to notice the amount of product placement in my daily life.

How about the girls of Josie and the Pussycats? Based on the 1970's cartoon of the same name, which is itself based on a comic book series, Josie, Valerie and Melody are a struggling all-girl band who make it big (in just a week) after signing with Megarecords, who need to replace the boyband "DuJour" who were eliminated by a "Chevy to the Levy" move by the record label. Prior to signing with the label, the girls were just The Pussycats. Now they're Josie and the Pussycats, so Rachael Leigh Cook's character gets the most focus because she is the lead singer. She is the only Pussycat with a love interest, and to make her character seem deep and interesting beyond her musical talent, she is inexplicably able to fix cars. Valerie (Rosario Dawson) struggles the most with Josie's position as the face and name of the band, while Melody (Tara Reid) is a portrayed as a dumb blonde fixated on puppies and rainbows, although she's not actually that oblivious and stupid (see quotes below). The writers did give Melody's character one interesting scene, where she meets Carson Daly (who was dating Tara Reid at the time), for a little meta-humor. In all of the movies I've reviewed so far, the characters are set up in almost this exact same dynamic - the main character has a love interest and drives the plot of the story, and the beta-friend(s) are just there as backup, like the bassist or drummer to the lead guitarist/singer.

Melody
Memorable quotes: "Oh yeah, like how he ordered a triple cappuccino and scooped up all the foam. Why not just get an espresso. Plus how he kept folding his napkin like he's afraid he doesn't have any real friends, just people who want to use him because he's just a big music guy." "If I could go back in time, I would want to meet Snoopy."

Valerie:
Memorable quotes: "You know, does anyone have change for a tampon?" "Wyatt, you messed with the wrong pussy!"

Coming Soon...

2010-05-26T23:42:00.003-04:00

Just for kicks, I thought I might do a brief mid-week update, based on new and soon-to-be releases I'm looking forward to (in no particular order):

1. Letters to Juliet - Sure, critics call it a cliché, comfortable, predictable film, and I did doubt Amanda Seyfried's ability to move beyond "It's like I have ESPN or something!" but amazingly she has, and I kind of love her now, particularly after Jennifer's Body (terrible, but wonderful!). By all accounts, Seyfried carries the movie and she's kind of delightful to watch. Check out this article on Jezebel for some history on the real thing.

2. Kick-Ass - Generally I have pretty luke-warm feelings when it comes to action/superhero movies, but I think the 11-year-old assassin in this one will make for a very interesting 2 hours. And while I've read several spoiler-filled reviews (which is probably a good thing, as now I'll know at which points I should cover my eyes) it's still at the top of my list! Read this: In Defense of Hit Girl.

3. The Runaways - Yes, yes, Kristen Stewart is Bella Swan. Let's get past that and rock on. I mean really, Joan Jett is just kind of awesome. She and Cherie Currie paved the way for pretty much every female artist since as far as possessing and capitalizing on female sexuality, from Madonna to riot grrrls of the 90's, and to Lady Gaga today.

4. Easy A - It's not in theaters 'til September 17, but already this modern-day take on The Scarlet Letter is getting a significant amount of attention from my favorite blog. Starring Emma Stone, Easy A looks to be a "literary update [similar to that] used by Amy Hekerling in Clueless" and I am giddy as a school girl to see it. However, I would like Penn Badgley to get his fat head out of there.

5. Eclipse - I know, I know, Twilight is a terrible habit - which I refuse to kick. I can't wait to tear into Alice again, because I'm pretty sure Jessica will only be present for .02 seconds. It comes out right before I leave for the Balkans, (oh yeah, I'll totally be there opening night) so it will be the last movie I review before going on a 5 week hiatus during which I will be focusing my efforts on immersing myself in a new culture, and I would be quite upset with myself if I spent too much time with American media.

Mean Girls - Janis Ian

2010-05-23T17:32:00.004-04:00

It was only a matter of time before I tackled Mean Girls. While this movie has a diverse cast of female characters, I've picked Janis Ian (Lizzy Caplan) as our beta-friend. This movie was incredibly popular when it was released in 2004, and was Lindsay Lohan's most successful film. The story is about Cady Heron (Lohan), but we actually have an alpha-female who is not the main character: Regina George (Rachel McAdams). Based on the book Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman, and written by Tina Fey, Mean Girls is essentially an anthropological satire about bullying, cliques and the social hierarchy in high school. It also addresses friendship, relationships, trust and identity.
One of the most interesting moments regarding identity is prior to Cady's first house party hosting experience:

What makes this short, strapless satin dress any less of a costume than the dead bride costume she wears at Halloween? She put it on to emulate Regina George and attract Aaron Samuels (Jonathan Bennett), and come off as a mature, sexually available woman, rather than an insecure girl. Cady acts as though she has done nothing wrong when she betrays Janis and Damian, and accuses them of making her a Plastic, when all the while she has been complicit in joining them with the goal of undermining the clique's leadership.

Janis Ian is pretty unapologetic about her own goals and her feelings about other people. Also interesting is the fact that she is named after a singer-songwriter from the 70's whose most successful single was entitled "At Seventeen". (See video below) Cady, newly arrived in Michigan from Africa, has no sense of self when she enters mainstream high school. She's good at math and fairly good at analyzing the behavior of those around her in the context of the animal kingdom, but she is very naïve when it comes to what constitutes friendship in this context. I mean, she says that she had lots of friends in Africa, but how is it that on her second day she believes that Janis and Damian are actually her friends when they've just met? Sure, high school can be overwhelming, and teenagers are always looking for peer approval and a space to fit in, but I'm still dubious as to how the start of their friendship is portrayed. Janis and Damian guide Cady through the social hierarchy, according to their perspective. Cady doesn't fully understand Janis's hatred of Regina George, but goes along with the plot to usurp her reign as Queen Bee. It's not quite fair to say that Cady is manipulated, because she goes along with the plan anyway, to serve her own desires. Janis Ian is much more self aware than Cady, as she admits that the things she does are cruel. At the end, when she confesses her plan to destroy Regina George to everyone, she is celebrated for her boldness. Janis is a champion of the underdog here, certainly not above the pettiness and drama of high school. She's still a stereotype, as an alternative, artsy goth girl. That's the thing about stereotypes, though, that they are something we recognize and relate to, even as they generalize and pigeon-hole people. Mean Girls does end on a positive note, however, with everyone growing up a bit come senior year. As a cultural microcosm, it's definitely a valuable work of mainstream cinema, and is bound to become a classic along the same lines of The Breakfast Club. I mean, look at Ally Sheedy's character. She's quite similar to Janis Ian...

Stats:
Screen time: 10 minutes, 15 seconds
Memorable quotes: "This is Damian. He's almost too gay to function." "And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled because she may seems like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut-faced ho-bag, but in reality she is so much more than that" "Wow, Damian, you've truly out-gayed yourself." "...She's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives." "There are two kinds of evil people in the world. People who do evil stuff and people who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it." "I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs." "I am so sorry, Regina, really I don't know why I did it. I guess it's probably because I have a big lesbian crush on you."

Whip It! - Pash

2010-05-16T22:42:00.004-04:00

Whip It! is the best female-driven movie of 2009, as far as this feminist is concerned. The tag line is empowering as well: Be your own hero. The story of Bliss Cavender's (Ellen Page) Roller Derby-ing into womanhood as Hurl Scout 'Babe Ruthless', this movie addresses many real issues young women face: creating an identity while living under the influence of parents; finding a place in a new community; discovering one's sexual desires; first love; first heartbreak; taking a different road from your best friend; living up to one's passions and ambitions...

Such a multi-faceted story is a rare thing indeed, and it really should have attracted larger audiences. Bliss's story really wouldn't be the same with out best friend Pash (Alia Shawkat). The best part is, you can actually believe that they are best friends. They've got great chemistry and aren't too cutesy, like the girls in Juno. They are comrades in arms, working to get away from their tiny little town and jobs at the Oink Joint in whatever way possible: Pash's goal is to get admitted into a good university, and while at first Bliss has no goals outside of avoiding being pushed into pageants by her mother, eventually Roller Derby becomes her passion, and Pash is there to support her, despite their diverging ambitions. They tease each other, and Pash does doubt Bliss's ability to stick out the rough and tumble world of Roller Derby, but when she proves that she can, Pash is happy to support her. Still, when Pash is arrested for an open container at a Derby event while Bliss is off gallivanting in a pool with boy-toy Oliver, she does get mad, and girls always know the most cutting, mean-spirited thing to say to one another. Pash, afraid that an arrest record will prevent her from getting into an Ivy League school, insinuates that Bliss is wasting her time with Roller Derby. Pash is written to have real feelings, and both of these girls are unsure of how to navigate the new terrain of their friendship, as they are both headed in very different directions. When Pash forgives Bliss, and reveals that she intends to attend Columbia in the fall, Bliss is thrilled for her friend. They are both smart girls, and neither of them allow boys to get in their way of the way they want to live their lives. Whip It! is simply a fantastic film that offers a much deeper look at female friendships than the typical chick flick, and while Pash is a supporting character, she has more individualistic depth than any of the ladies in Sex and the City, and they had six seasons on HBO and two movies to flesh out their characters! Well done, ladies. Well done.

Stats:
Screen time: 14 minutes and 5 seconds
Memorable quotes: "I'm your only friend!" "Birdman is the only thing you have going for you." "I give my parents straight A's, I get freedom!" "I didn't have a Barbie-roller-skates-phase, I had a fat-kid-sits-inside-and-reads-phase." "My belly hurts... there's a storm in there." "Yeah, if you like referring to Dickensian orphans." "I'm trying to get out of this armpit of a town just as much as you, and last time I checked, getting arrested in not the kind of extracurricular that Ivy League schools are looking for." "If you hear a hint of pain in my voice when I say I've lost my best friend to a gang of rollerskating she-males, and the only highlight of my night was serving corn to a man who can't even chew it, then, I'd say you're wrong." "That's why I like a good fondling - it's so much simpler."

Next week: Mean Girls...

If you dig this blog (or happen to be a friend of mine)...

2010-05-14T21:57:00.000-04:00

Check out some more chick-flick related blog articles! Via Jezebel: Why does Katherine Heigl make such crappy movies? and Look at how funky he is. This weekend I will be reviewing Alia Shawkat as the bestie in Whip It! starring Ellen Page, directed by Drew Barrymore. It is quite the tour de female force! I know y'all are excited...

No Blog Post This Week

2010-05-09T22:52:00.000-04:00

I had initially planned to write up a post this weekend, but I was unable to make time to watch a chick flick - I was on a mini-vacation with my mom to Martha's Vineyard, and then when I got home my desktop got attacked by some malicious virus! I know! Fortunately my ex is good with computers and was able to consult with me over the phone as to my best path of action. Of course, I threw a bit of a temper tantrum - there were tears, and I stomped my feet and screamed expletives at the internet gods - perhaps disturbing the upstairs neighbors, which, serves them right, as they have the bass pumping at all hours of the day and night sometimes. Gotta release the stress somehow! I'm backing up my files as I type (thanks for the netbook, Mom! You're the greatest!) and I should have everything settled by Wednesday with my desktop. I don't know what I'd do without it. My netbook doesn't have the greatest graphics for watching video. So, moral of the story is, hope to whatever deity you hold sacred that you never experience such a vicious, inconvenient attack, and I will do a proper review next week.

-Liz

Baby Mama - Angie

2010-05-02T17:03:00.002-04:00

Baby Mama stars Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, and is the tale of Kate, an aging, single executive with a T-shaped uterus yearning for a screaming, pooping, puking spawn of her very own. Angie is an aspiring designer with a useless common-law husband whom she leaves to move in with Kate. Kate's controlling nature and Angie's childishness are a recipe for disaster, right? Well, the story doesn't go very smoothly, with Angie initially lying about carrying Kate's embryo, then finding out she's pregnant after all, only it's got her DNA and not Kate's. This is a tricky movie for my blog, because Kate and Angie's dynamic isn't exactly a traditional friendship - Kate is paying Angie for a service, essentially outsourcing her pregnancy. They are an unlikely pair, friendship wise, because of their drastically different upbringings and social expectations.
Oh, wacky comedy chick flicks. I think there was a great opportunity for the filmmakers to address the issues of classism and privilege, but it's all glossed over to make way for a lot of jabs at Tina Fey's weight (which, hello, she's gorgeous and has a great body), and delivery room drama. Naturally, there is a happy ending for Kate, who discovers she is pregnant at the birth of Angie's child. The movie is pretty low-brow, a female-driven Apatow-style film, but there are definitely some interesting issues raised with regards to societal pressures and the expectations put on women. There are definitely some positive messages, however, in that Kate's desire to have a baby is her own and not based on her mother's demand to have grandchildren. And, it is pretty realistic when addressing the choice between family and career that women are expected to make. It is positive that Kate takes charge of her situation, but not all women can, and many women from less privileged means will have children and still have to work anyway in order to provide for them. Motherhood is not an easy path for any woman to take on because it means sacrificing one's life for another. In some way, women are expected to drop something that is important to them, be it a high-paying, satisfying career or even time with their children if they cannot manage with only one income, or are single parents. It's a pretty serious conundrum and not one that I plan on facing at any point in my life. I wish this movie had done more to address these issues, but alas, we can only expect so much from Hollywood.

Angie's unique perspective is probably the most important influence on her relationship with Kate. She eschews organic foods and pre-natal vitamins. She is completely inept at opening the child-proofed toilet (and generally offers some pretty silly, physical laughs at her own expense). She "discontinued" high school and seriously devalues her own worth as a woman and human being. She allows Carl (Dax Shepard) to convince her that surrogacy is a good idea, and then when it doesn't take, convinces her to lie to Kate so they can continue collecting checks. Angie does feel remorse for misleading Kate, who is so excited at the prospect of a baby of her own. Kate is so accommodating and supportive of Angie's interests and aspirations outside of the pregnancy, it seems almost as if Angie is Kate's daughter, rather than her friend or employee. They sing along to Madonna together, Kate letting down her hair a bit, and Angie does give Kate a clubbing makeover, which was kind of novel - usually the beta will be subject to a makeover. But I guess Angie does kind of go through a makeover, at least mentally. In the courtroom where they find out the results of the maternal DNA test, Angie makes a sweet little speech that shows a nice change in her attitude towards herself and Kate: "This whole thing... made me feel so important... I also want to thank you. I didn't like it sometimes but you made me grow up. I know I was supposed to help you have a baby, but you ended up teaching me how to be a mother... She'd be a great mother, your Honor... kid wouldn't get away with shit!" This amount of self-awareness is quite impressive, and a great show of respect from Angie to Kate. We never get quite a reciprocation like this from Kate, however, she is there for Angie when she gives birth. Somehow, despite the ups and downs and general lack of shared life experiences outside of the surrogacy shenanigans, these two women have formed a friendship.

Memorable quotes: "He never asked me to be his wife but her also never asked me not to be his wife, so things are going pretty good." "Can I just spray a little PAM down there right before the baby comes out?" "It feels like I'm shitting a knife!"

Bring It On - Missy

2010-04-25T21:29:00.002-04:00

Bring It On is the quintessential cheering movie of the aughts. I mean, who doesn't know what "Spirit Fingers" are? Starring Kirsten Dunst as Torrence Shipman, newly elected cheer captain and Eliza Dushku as cynical newcomer Missy Pantone, this movie has earned cult status in the world of female-dominated high school athletics. Because it was so wildly successful, it has spawned nearly a half dozen campy, horrible, made-for-TV sequels. Despite this, Bring It On is still a brilliant teen movie. There always seems to be a satirical aspect to teen movies. Take a look at the name of the high school where our story takes place: Rancho Carne. Google translates this as "beef ranch". Rancho Carne Toros. Beef Ranch Bulls. Ahem. Is this a thinly-veiled reference to the hormonally-driven meat market that is high school? Or does it have to do with student athletics - strength, virility? Or maybe I'm looking a little too deep into it. All I know is, it made me think of burritos. Mmm, carne asada... Moving on! This movie is actually pretty tame when compared to more recent teen comedies (Mean Girls, The Hot Chick, Euro Trip). Other than the highly amusing and satirical opening, for the most part Bring It On is at its most suggestive when the characters are discussing sexual orientation. Dyke and fag are used as offensive terms, but the characters own it as part of the lexicon, part of their culture.

Missy qualifies as sidekick because Torrence spends a lot more time with her than any other teammate from the squad, although Whitney and Courtney are sassy (and Beta) enough to be considered sidekicks. I chose Missy over those two because they are cheer-frenemies and that is all there is to them, though they do get some seriously snarky lines, and combined they could be called Brutus to Torrence's Cesar, what with their attempt at overthrowing the "Cheerocracy". Missy and Torrence are actually quite the impressive pair. They only talk about boys a couple of times, and most of their conversation revolves around ethics, morality and authenticity in competition. Both Torrence and Missy hold a higher standard of conduct as athletes. This is an unusually strong characteristic to bond these characters together in a teen movie. But, as is almost required in teen movies and chick flicks in general, Missy goes through quite a transformation. When she is introduced, she is an inked, be-dreaded gymnast with serious attitude and serious talent, with no tolerance for the stereotypically shallow cheerleaders that denigrate her. By the end, she proudly calls herself a cheerleader, and embraces that title. And she doesn't even mind that her best friend wants to date her brother, plays matchmaker even!

Stats:
Screen time: 15 minutes
Memorable Quotes: "I transferred from Los Angeles, this school has no gymnastics team, this is a last resort!" "Are you trying to tell me you speak fag?" "And Courtney and Whitney? Dykadellic?" "We might have to have a rumble." "Making money from guys ogling my goodies." "That's right, I am a cheerleader and you're a dumbass." "And, let me give you a little tip from a cheerleader: Be, aggressive, b-e aggressive." "I don't know what's scarier, neurotic cheerleaders or the pressure to win. I could make a killing selling something like 'Diet Prozac'."

http://beta-friend.blogspot.com/2010/04/bring-it-on-missy.html

New Moon - Jessica and Alice

2010-04-18T12:56:00.003-04:00

I am not ashamed to say that I am a fan of Twilight. Well, not that ashamed. I do still feel that I have to defend my enjoyment - I fully recognize the book series is hardly high-quality literature, and the movies are, well, no better than the books. I don't care. It's entertaining to say the least. It's a part of pop culture, and I've embraced it, while I am still critical of it's message. New Moon is my favorite book in the series, and any Twi-hards will hate my reason - because Edward isn't there! That's not to say I prefer Jacob (and here I am with my mom drinking wine and counting down the minutes to Taylor Lautner's big reveal... ahem) but it's nice to get that mopey Byronic hero out of the way for a little while. There is actually something really cool and unique about this series, that can at least be observed in the movies: female desire is actually taken seriously. It's not a gimmick, or played for cheap laughs, or pornographic. In most chick-flicks or teen movies, the main female protagonists dress scantily/sexily. Bella, however, dresses in ratty t-shirts, thermal knit, plaid and thick, shapeless coats, and is the one to push the boundaries of her and Edward's physical relationship. Meanwhile, in New Moon, Jacob spends more time with his shirt off than on, and even Robert Pattinson as Edward gives the eager audience a little strip-tease. It should also be telling at this point that I haven't even mentioned our beta friends yet.
The Twilight Saga is not actually a female-driven story. It primarily revolves around Edward and Bella's obsession with him, while maybe 25% revolves around Jacob, and the final 10% actually addresses Bella's desires unrelated to either of these immortal dudes.

Yes, this week I'll be examining another two, because they get so little attention. Bella spends most of her time in this movie (when not pining over Edward and writing emails to Alice) with Jacob, but the dynamic isn't appropriate to call him her beta-friend. We'll go by order of appearance, to simplify things.

Jessica Stanley, played by break-out actress Anna Kendrick, (gotta give a shout out to another Mainer!) is kind of a frenemy, as she has been transformed into a hybrid of Jessica Stanley, fair weather friend, and Lauren Mallory, a mean girl who will never be President of the Bella Swan fan club, from the novels. Anna Kendrick breathes as much life as possible into Jessica. The humans fall further and further out of the scene as the series progresses, but Jessica does earn some impressive moments in this installment. She's blunt and sarcastic, and it's wonderful. She has some truly brilliant lines, and while she whines about how she would like to talk about her own male-related angst, the majority of her conversation has nothing to do with boys. So, as Bella walks straight into a sketchy situation with some skeevy bikers, Jessica stands idly by, fretting just a little over her 'friend's' safety, but mostly thinking about herself, and the only reason she doesn't take off is because she doesn't want to be implicated if the sheriff's daughter is kidnapped. Jessica is a pretty typical teenager - completely self-involved and self-interested. Her role is small, but important, in grounding this story in a little bit of genuinely mundane humanity.

Stats:
Screen time: 3 minutes 5 seconds
Memorable quotes: "I don't know why you want to sit through all those zombies eating people and no hot guys kissing anybody, it's gross, like. And why are there that many zombie movies anyway? Is it supposed to like, draw a parallel to leprosy? My cousin had leprosy. It's not funny, you know? And like, is it supposed to be a metaphor for consumerism? 'Cause, don't be so pleased with your own, like, self-reverential cleverness, you know? Like, some girls like to shop..." "Like, your depression thing, I get it, I'm totally, totally, worried, but after a while it gets pretty old. I'm going through stuff too, you know?" "That 'homeboy' could have been a psycho!"

Alice Cullen, played by Ashley Greene, is our immortal psychic, who, at least in the books, is Bella's 'best-friend'. Because I'm so familiar, I will divert from my movie character analysis for a bit to address this so-called friendship as it is written in the books: Bella and Alice are only besties because Stephenie Meyer says it is so. This is pretty debatable, as most of their time spent together is forced by Edward who feels that Jacob is an inappropriate friend for her, and Alice is the only one that can keep her safe when Edward is away. Bella doesn't actually like anything that Alice does to/with her (shopping, fashion, mani-pedi's, makeovers, fast cars), so I'm not sure there is actually anything even shallowly bonding these two as friends other than Alice being a part of the Cullen's family. End rant. In the movies, Alice is ever optimistic and relentlessly coercing Bella into dressing up for social events that Bella would rather not attend. So, yes, why are they friends? Either Bella really does like the attention, or she is incapable of standing up for herself, and is perfectly content to be pushed along by stronger personalities. Alice's purpose in this movie is as the Oracle that incites the hero to plunge recklessly into danger when a simple phone call could have resolved the whole misunderstanding. But, she also saves the day by making a decision. Like I said, I am very critical of this series. Why does Alice's choice have more clout than any of Bella's? She wants to be a vampire, but she is powerless under Edward's reasoning, to the point where both of their lives are in danger. Sure, Stephenie Meyer is rewriting Romeo and Juliet with New Moon, but that's a pretty flimsy reason to make her characters so obstinately dense. But I digress. Alice is just a device to keep the story going and reunite the estranged lovers, though the term cannot be taken in the literal sense here, thanks to Meyer's sanitized, no-teen-sex-before-marriage stance. Most of Alice's best moments come when she is contrasted with Jacob. And, you would think that in the Volutri's lair the psychic could defend herself, like she proves she can in the next installment, but no, she is held captive by one of the guard for the duration of Edward's tussle with Felix. Alice loves Bella like a sister, but there is very little to back that up. Alice will, at least, help Bella get her way in the end, because of her ability to see the future. Alice should be way more kick-ass.

Stats:
Screen time: 9 minutes and 50 seconds
Memorable quotes: "I have never met anyone more prone to life-threatening idiocy!" "I can't see past you and you're pack of mutts!" "...As soon as you put the dog out." "I figured you wouldn't be opposed to grand theft auto."

Clueless - Tai and Dionne

2010-04-11T18:31:00.012-04:00

Clueless is a 90's teen movie take on Emma by Jane Austen, starring Alicia Silverstone, the late Brittany Murphy, and Stacy Dash. Cher Horowitz (Silverstone) is a vivacious, bright, naïve, ditsy daddy's girl in Beverly Hills. Like her literary counterpart, Cher is a matchmaker. Her sidekicks are Tai (Murphy) and Dionne (Dash). This movie is rife with makeover montages, fashion shows and little romantic dramas. From Dionne and Murray's constant bickering, to Tai's sassy stoner tendencies, this movie is fantastic as a female-driven, candy colored vehicle of outrageously 90's proportions. The script is really something special, though clearly teenagers written by adults. "Buggin'?" "Jeepin'?" Clueless, in all its Hollywood exaggeration, is at least a legitimately teenage movie. I do remember a lot of the vernacular becoming de rigeur, while Never Been Kissed's "roofus" was pretty clearly an adult's imagining of how teen slang comes about.

Tai is the new girl in school, and in all her plaid-shirt-wearing, gum-chewing, Brooklyn-accented glory, she very quickly becomes the subject of a makeover. Tai's a gritty outsider who is clearly not of the same class as Cher and Dionne. Her first statement to the Beverly Hills "Betty's" is "I could really use some herbal refreshment" - and they assume she means tea. Despite these differences, Cher decides to turn Tai into her project. She and Dionne primp and pluck and overhaul Tai's wardrobe, turning her into a midriff-baring social climber. Not only does Tai allow Cher to exercise control over her appearance, but also her romantic inclinations. Cher draws Tai away from sweet, dopey stoner Travis and tries to plant a seed of attraction between her and Elton, a preppy asshole fulfilling the role of an Austen archetype. And, when Elton rejects Tai, her whole world falls apart - she can't hear "Rollin' with my homies" without bursting into tears, and it's not until White Knight Josh dances with her at a party that she feels she can move on and burn her memories of the non-relationship she had with Elton. While all of these things are exaggerated, it's actually kind of accurate as to how everything feels so big in high school, raging hormones wreaking havoc and blowing conflicts way out of proportion. Tai and Cher's friendship suffers a blow when Tai becomes über-popular after a "near death experience" in the mall. They aren't estranged for long, however, and Cher learns not to meddle so much in others' lives - you might not like the person they become. Tai and Cher, typical teenage girls that they are, obsess over boys and clothes and, for some reason, Mel Gibson. Cher is Tai's guide to navigating the cut-throat world of Beverly Hills High, and Tai is a more down-to-earth friend, who can ground Cher. Tai is a pretty special beta friend, and we probably have Jane Austen to thank for that.

Screen time: 22 minutes

Sassy Quips: "Shit you guys, I've never had straight friends before." "Why am I listening to you to begin with. You're a virgin who can't drive" "Oh shit, now I'm gonna go ahead and cry"

Dionne is Cher's bffl. They definitely share an appreciation for avant garde fashion. Dionne's primary conflict is the tumultuous relationship she shares with Murray, and this provides quite a lot of amusing side action. Dionne is skeptical of Cher's decision to makeover Tai, but goes along with it all anyway. She's got a pretty sharp wit, and can easily keep up with Cher's flair for the dramatic. The two plot to hook up two of their teachers to improve their grades, to stunning success. Dionne is also Cher's more sexually savvy friend. I do enjoy the girls' blatant use of (gigantic!) cell phones as they meet up between classes. Dionne is very sidekicky, and we don't really see a whole lot of her, or get to know her very well outside of how she relates to Murray, shrilly screaming at him when he shaves his head, or repeatedly disregards her request to stop calling her "woman". There are very few African-American besties in chick-flicks, and I'm afraid she's a pretty stereotypical representation of that particular demographic, although she does speak very articulately, which I totally appreciate from the writers. Even Murray spouts some pretty fantastic lines, and he totally gets a special mention for "Okay, but, street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily in misogynistic undertones." Dionne is pretty likable, as she supports Cher's quests to remedy being "hymenally challenged" or taking on philanthropic activities, and of course, picking out a perfect outfit for a date. I wish there were more Dionne's in chick flicks. It's called diversity, Hollywood.

Screen time: 15 minutes and 45 seconds

Snappy Quips: "The PC term is hymenally challenged."

Legally Blonde - Paulette

2010-04-04T17:30:00.005-04:00

Yet another walk down memory lane! From the early aughts, Legally Blonde is a fantastically funny tale of a Beverly Hills beauty queen's transformation into an exceptional case-cracking law student at Harvard. The effervescent Reese Witherspoon is brilliant in the role of Elle Woods - her naïveté is charming and disarming. But enough about her, the subject of this weeks blog is Paulette Bonafonté, played by the buxom Jennifer Coolidge. I've chosen her over Margot and Serena because she is the only meaningful female relationship Elle has throughout the movie (by chick flick standards, anyway), while Margot and Serena are phone-in friends, for most of the part. Still, Paulette doesn't say much, for all the screen time she logs. Mostly she's a bumbling, stumbling, middle-aged mess of a manicurist.

Elle, seriously discouraged after her first day of class and devastated after meeting her ex-boyfriends' new fiancé, finds the nearest nail salon and sits down at Paulette's station. Paulette seems depressed, and disparages herself pretty much immediately: "I'm a middle aged, high school drop out with stretch marks and a fat ass." First off, she sounds like she's from the mid-west, not the Metropolitan Boston area. Then, most of her dialog with Elle revolves around men, although she is Elle's sounding board for school troubles as well. Her strongest moment is in obtaining "full canine property ownership" from her ex, with Elle's help of course. Paulette's other memorable moments involve "the bend and snap", and Jennifer Coolidge does a great job with slapstick humor. We're meant to feel sorry for Paulette, as she lacks most confidence and any social graces, particularly when it comes to the opposite sex. From becoming verbally catatonic when speaking to the package delivery man with the cheesy grin and tight ass, to "bending and snapping" into his nose, Paulette's story is only briefly touched upon, and revolves around her failure to find a good man, until package-guy comes along. It's a convenient solution to Paulette's only problem. Before the final credits, we learn via "where are they now" subtitles that Paulette marries the delivery guy and is expecting her first baby, a girl who will be named Elle. Jennifer Coolidge reprises the role of Paulette in Legally Blonde 2, a lackluster sequel (and let's face it, most chick flick sequels suck... not that I can think of any others that were even made) that sees Elle taking on D.C.

Stats:
Screen time: 10 minutes and 30 seconds
Snappy quips: "What's this Vivian got that you don't got? Three tits?" "...must be a nice vacation for his balls."

Bechdel Test/Rule

2010-04-03T16:24:00.004-04:00

I think it's necessary for me to cite the Bechdel Rule as a reference of a feminist inspiration for this blog. The comic speaks for itself, but here's more info via NPR.

10 Things I Hate About You - Mandella and Chastity

2010-03-23T22:19:00.021-04:00

10 Things I Hate About You holds a very special place in my nostalgic teenage heart. Starring Julia Stiles and the late Heath Ledger, with a brilliant cameo by the incomparable Allison Janney, this film is simply brilliant. A modern-day retelling of Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew, this movie definitely falls under the category of rom-com, while it is a teen movie. I'll also say it is a chick flick - I don't care if I did most recently watch it with my good (male) friend Tony. He doesn't have a very discerning taste in movies. Anyway, on to the analysis! One could argue that this movie has an ensemble cast, and as such, I am covering two beta friends of distinct purpose and disposition.

Our first beta-friend is Mandella, the spacey, Shakespeare-obsessed best friend of Kat (Julia Stiles). Played by the elfin Susan May Pratt, she's a hopeless romantic stuck in the 21st century. We see very little of her, but I always enjoy her when she's on screen. From gazing longingly at a portait of Billy Shakespeare taped in her locker, to humoring Kat's latest stance against high school functions, Mandella seems so much more laid back than Kat. She's a great beta in this way, as her presence lightens the mood of the movie. So, even as she sighs over her lack of a date for prom, we know she'll be alright. And if you keep watching past the credits, you'll witness a very steamy kiss between her and Michael, which, by the way, I added to her screen time in the stats below.

Stats:
Screen time: 3 minutes and 30 seconds
Snappy quips: "More than a fan - we're involved." "Oh goody something new and different for us."

Next we have Chastity (Gabrielle Union), beta to Bianca (Larissa Oleynik). Here we have our classic, ditsy frenemy. For the most part, she and Bianca talk about clothes and boys and parties. The faces Chastity makes are simply diabolical, and speak volumes more about the character than any of her dialogue. While we saw some glimmerings of Chastity's underhanded and social climbing ways at Bogie Lowenstien's party, it's not until Chastity runs into Bianca in the ladies room at the prom (oh yes, even this quality film had the requisite bathroom scene) that we can truly appreciate the full force of her frenemy powers. The fact that her revelations inspire Bianca to beat the crap out of Joey Donner really just goes to show how awesome this movie is.

Stats:
Screen time: 4 minutes and 15 seconds
Snappy quips: "I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?" Also, have you ever seen more amazing eyebrow action?

I swear it's purely a coincidence that I chose to do beta-friend analysis of this movie this week... I was not at all inspired by ABC Family's tv series by the same name which is starting it's second season this week. Which I kind of love. Mostly because the new Kat and Patrick have great chemistry. And the new Mandella isn't a toothpick!

The Ugly Truth – Joy

2010-03-22T11:19:00.019-04:00

This weekend I watched The Ugly Truth starring Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler. Our Beta-Friend is Joy, played by Bree Turner. Joy is beta in every sense of the word – she is Abby’s (Heigl's) associate producer on a local morning news show and requisite bathroom buddy. Within the first 10 minutes of the film Joy is established as such when she says: “These [my breasts] have not been touched in quite some time, I have to live vicariously in your dating life and I really think this could be our next boyfriend!” She is funny, slightly more crass than Heigl's character, and is positively gleeful when watching a train wreck happen on air during the morning broadcast. She seems to take a more zen stance to the state of her singleness, and while we never really get to know her, I like her more than Abby.
Her brazenness extends to miming sex in a coffee shop, and encouraging Abby to find a mate with whom to make beautiful babies. Joy is always on top of her job, providing updates on the day-to-day that Abby, with her fixation on verbally lacerating Mike (Butler), doesn't seem to have time for.
In the inevitable and predictable ending, as Abby and Mike engage in a lovers spat on air at a hot air balloon festival, rather than shut it down, Joy keeps the camera rolling. Joy shows no regard for her "best friend's" job or reputation, only a conspiratorial "you go girl" look as Abby vents about men. In the context this does not speak well to their supposed female friendship. It is a very shallow relationship, and Joy's character is simply Abby's work friend with a so-so bitch please face:

Stats:
Screen Time: Just under 10 minutes
Snappy one-liners: "They're talking about erections, be quiet!" "[Mike was] voted most likely to get slapped in his high school yearbook"

Oh, and IMDB tells me that in an alternate ending, Joy ends up with Abby's cast-off, Colin (Eric Winter).

Coming soon!

2010-03-22T10:38:00.003-04:00

My blog here is all brand new, and later tonight I will hopefully have my first official post. I'm working on the content now from work, and there are some things I'll have to do from the home computer, hence the delay. I am really excited to start this project! I've seen probably dozens of chick flicks over the years, so I'll likely be revisiting a lot of them. I would love suggestions as to what movie to do next, so comment away! Tonight's blog will be about "The Ugly Truth."